I’ll be back soon

Hello hellooo. So sorry I’ve not been able to post anything in a very long time.  I won’t lie that I was busy with the preps but with a bout of viral and 2 relapses later, coupled with two weddings (of which one was in Ajmer) and my laptop dying on me in the midst of a lot more madness I’m back to writing. There’s sooooooo much to write I don’t know where to begin but of course I’ll continue from where I stopped last.

 

And oh did I forget to mention I also got engaged *fluttering eyelashes* ?? But that was before all the other craziness!!

Makeover – nothing superficial about it!

I’ve been an ardent follower of Band Baajaa Bride on NDTV Good Times since season one. I was just browsing through channels, one boring, lazy afternoon, couple of years ago, looking for something ‘interesting’ to watch when i stumbled upon this makeover show for brides – an air hostess, Mitali, was talking about how she met her fiance – and ever since then I’ve been hooked onto the show! Haven’t missed a single episode and have in fact looked forward to every makeover specially since Sabyasachi (I just LOVE him!) came on board as mentor. I’d secretly always dreamt to be on the show someday, getting pampered at a spa, a chic haircut from a high-end salon, a celebrity MUA working magic on my face and most importantly donning a Sabyasachi wedding lehenga 😀

As soon as my wedding was announced I became more conscious of myself and started playing Ambika to myself…thanks to my BBB overdose! I analysed myself and the areas that needed immediate attention. Even though I’m not a very budget conscious bride I would have to start ASAP only because I don’t believe in quick fixes. My school of thought is more like you should get rid off the root cause of a problem to control its effects rather than just treating visible symptoms. And for that you need to have patience as well as time, both of which I had enough for a wedding which was 11.5 months away.

Read this space for more as I work on getting my hair, skin and waist wedding ready 🙂

Parents meet, fixing dates, booking venues….

I’d been visiting my fiance’s house very regularly and hanging out with the MIL a couple of months before the proposal. But come this day and I was nervous as hell! I wanted everything to be just right, for us to look prim and proper and most importantly reach their place in time ( My family is known for ALWAYS being late). I was stressing over little things and had surprised myself with my nervousness. You see, I’m very comfortable with my in-laws and hadn’t experienced nervousness in a long, long time. I’m usually calm and composed in the craziest of situations. But this was a sort of Roka cum parents’ first meet. Yes, we’re one of those new age couples who decided to marry and then got our parents to meet. Since I had packed all the Roka gifts myself I wanted everything to be neat, presentable, beautiful and yet not scream OTT Punjabiness (including my mother’s clothes)

After entering the fiance’s house all my nervousness disappeared automatically 😀 Since he had popped the question with a cake, it was my turn now! I replied with a self-made cheesecake (my aunt’s idea). Also, he’d been pestering me to make him one for a couple of weeks so the timing was perfect. And the meeting went off very well. We had lots of fun chatting, laughing and also discussing a few serious things.

Blueberry Cheesecake

Blueberry Cheesecake

The most important discussion was around the dates and I’m so glad it didn’t last over 5 mts!! Yes, you heard me right. We were done in 5 mts flat! We Hindus generally fret over mahurats whereas Christians marry according to the availability of their choice of venues coupled with their convenience. We were looking at Dec 2013/Jan 2014 since both our siblings are abroad as is the close family and what better than Christmas time for them to visit India on a long holiday and enjoy each of our functions thoroughly. It was going to be a one-of-a-kind wedding for both families and we didn’t want anybody to miss it. As a family, my parents and I believe that whatever time is chosen to do a good deed is auspicious by itself and there is no need to check for a mahurat. But when it comes to weddings even the staunchest of non – believers turn superstitious! Ever grateful to my parents who aren’t of that kind and showed that they genuinely DO NOT believe in mahurats! I just feel there is no point in over-complicating life, specially on such occasions. As it is there is enough stress during weddings so there is no point taking on extra stress of the right mahurat.

Now that the dates were finalised we had to book the venues, which meant completing the mammoth task of list making! My advise to all those planning their wedding – Please, please, please and I say please again- take this very, very seriously. Treat this as top priority! As soon as your dates are decided make a rough list and jot down your choice of venues based on the number of guests. People book venues over a year in advance. Your dream venue might get booked before you can bat your eyelid and the more you delay this the less choice you have. (We had a year to go for our wedding and the most coveted venue, photographer and decorator for that day were already booked. We had to cancel our trip to Delhi to sort out the bookings) You can decide the venue based on

  • no. of guests
  • weather
  • theme of your wedding
  • approachability/distance from the main city areas (in case of a farmhouse – you lucky Delhites!)
  • holiday season (in case of a destination wedding)
  • distance from your own house ( you don’t want to get stuck in traffic and be late for your own wedding. Besides, a lot of to n fro takes place on that day; mother forgets something at home, bhaiya wears the wrong tie etc etc)
  • quality of food served (if it’s a hotel)

One more thing – finalising the guest list is an ideal situation that doesn’t exist in the real world! Trust me every time you feel its done, the parents will come and say ” Beta, add Mr.XYZ, they invited us for their daughter’s wedding…” This will go on until after the wedding also. Good Luck!

The Biggest Surprise….or was it a SHOCK?!?

I’m not a fan of typical Hollywoodesque proposals – the whole ring in the champagne glass, proposal over dinner scene. I’ve found them sweet but they don’t make me go ‘aaaawwwww’ at all! But mine did leave me in tears…..

My (then) boyfriend was traveling for 4 days and before leaving, fixed a dinner date with me for the next week ( strong hint but I didn’t get it then) saying we hadn’t been out without friends in a very long time and I agreed (We’ve been friends for a decade and started dating a couple of years back and are eventually getting married).

Back in Mumbai – date night – and he had already chosen the restaurant even though he was aware it’s not one of my favourite places. He picks me up and was a little overdressed for a casual dinner (he usually puts on a nice pair of jeans with a semi formal shirt) in trousers, a formal shirt with cuff links et al 😕  – I still didn’t feel something was fishy! To my disbelief he even pointed out the chair I should sit on 😮 and had an unusually long conversation with the waiter in whispers, after we had placed the order. We’re just settling in when he tells me that his cousin, who is a lead vocalist in a rock band will be performing at the restaurant tonight but is currently hanging out with our friends who might also join us later. All I did was complain about how we’re never left alone and got a huge smile in return 😐

Enter cousin! He starts singing Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You’ (me in my head “Romantic song?? but you sing Rock!!”) with “I think ‘HE’ wants to marry you” instead of “I think ‘I’ wanna marry you” and I was like Ya Right!!! And my boyfriend jokingly asks “What if I do wanna marry you?” n I say “Why don’t we continue eating and have a good time?” By then the restaurant was empty except for a couple of tables and suddenly I see a big cake being brought to our table. At that point I wanted to inform the waiter that he’s got the wrong table and its neither of our birthdays but when I traced those cake-carrying hands back up to the face it was my FRIEND!!  A closer look at the cake and it was a heart-shaped fruit gateaux which said ‘Will you marry me?’ THAT’s when it hit me that this is a PROPOSAL! I pushed my chair back in shock and had the ‘OMG, I can’t believe I’ve been crowned Miss World’ look on my face. On the other side, another friend was recording a video and champagne had now been brought to the table. Looked back and my boyfriend was down on one knee with a ring in his hand. Instead of saying “Yes, I will” I kept repeating ” No, no…what have you done?…why have you done this?” 😳  And the cousin paused his singing to confirm that I’d said yes because the song would soon be over 😆

              Please excuse the quality of this pic..its a screengrab from a video

Untitled

My Reaction

IMG-20130116-00434

The proposal cake…yummy!!

I cried for a whole hour after that. Called home to tell folks that BOTH of us are coming home which my mom questioned with full Punjabi curiosity filling her up “Why is HE coming home?” and I kept it very short by telling her that he proposed. I entered the house and ran straight into my father’s arms and cried my heart out. My parents were so shocked they forgot to congratulate us 😛

Point of this detailed description was that even if you aren’t the oh-so-romantic and mushy types like us, enjoy these special moments. These special moments create memories for a lifetime and will always bring a smile on your face 🙂 Don’t waste them by shedding tears like I did.

And men, please take note, make it special for the love of your life no matter how long you’ve known each other – she will still appreciate it. Even if it’s an arranged match, at least go down on one knee at the engagement ceremony! I always found it very cheesy and lame and never fantasized this kind of proposal but today when I look back at how he had planned it, I feel so special. I’m glad even thedelhibride shares my views on guys proposing.

Every friend and relative who got to know the entire proposal story found it to be a very sweet gesture and not just romantic. Some ladies even exclaimed that there are very few men in India who would do something like that for their women. A lot of my friends hoped to find somebody like him and the others wished their husbands had proposed in a similar manner 😎 That’s when I realised that he truly had made it very special for me because up until then I was only reeling in shock. My aunt even mentioned that it will be a wonderful feeling for me to recount these days to my children when they grow up (ya my aunt is little senti) Haha!

Some proposal ideas :